GUMMY BEAR BANDITS STRIKE AGAIN

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The "Gummy Bear Bandit" is on the loose again in Sumter County. A victim on Potomac Drive reported that his Bears were taken on 2 October, 2018: "I have a strong lead indicating who is behind this theft" says Don Doane, the victim in this mornings gummy raid. "And when i catch these bunch of outlaw bandits, they are going to pay", Don says.
It is believed that two people are involved in this theft ring. One is described as a White woman,possibly of Portuguese descent, approximately 5'4, 185lbs, black hair, dark eyes around 47yrs old, usually wearing hospital type scrubs. The other is described as a White woman, approximately 35yrs old, dark hair, and smells of garlic, pizza sauce, basil, and Parmesan cheese. If you spot any of these bandits, approach with caution: they have been known to bite and may carry several communicable diseases. Doane is offering a reward for the capture of these crooks and recovery of his stolen Gummies. Call 1-800-Gum-Bear for more information.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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