York Residents in Terror as "Black Mr Clean" Found Wandering Streets in Search of Pizza, Whiskey
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 8894 Shares
Above: Mr Orr photographed leaving the Cracker Barrel restroom while ordering a pizza.
[York, PA] - An entire town is on edge after numerous reports were made to local authorities that an area man had been seen stalking through the streets of York on an unpredictable rampage in search of Domino's and Jim Beam. Described by reports as a "black Mr Clean", Emil Orr is a towering 6'-8" and nearly 300 lbs. Currently, nobody has been injured by Mr Orr, but many believe it is only a matter of time before catastrophe strikes.
York Police Chief Herbert Dreger remains cautiously optimistic: "Emil isn't new to this town. We have no reason to think that he's suddenly going to snap and harm anybody. But we cannot deny that many locals feel very threatened. When you have a man of his size and strength goose-stepping through town with a denim jacket that is bursting at the seams around his biceps, all while he's clutching a rosary made of sharpened wrought iron, some people are just going to be uncomfortable."
Some locals, however, have no reason to fear. Daviquias T. Jackson saw Mr Orr walk through his neighborhood the other day and claims that saw nothing unusual. Said Jackson, "This cat is cool as shit. He just don't take nothin' from nobody and you gotta respect that, know what I'm sayin'?" Jackson remarked that nobody in his neighborhood would ever "call the cops on brotha just tryin' to score some Jack."
According to the most recent reports, Mr Orr has been found exiting the local Roman Catholic Church on Sunday mornings. When the pastor was interviewed, he scoffed at the idea that Mr Orr was dangerous in any respect: "Emil wouldn't hurt a fly," said Fr Mark Buchanan, "He has problems like all of us, but he isn't a real threat. Look - it's really simple - just don't get in his way when he's heading to the Fine Wine and Good Spirits Store and everybody will be just fine." Fr Buchanan also commented that he was going to allocate some money from the Church's general fund to make the existing confessional door six inches taller and a foot wider so that Mr Orr would be able to have his confessions in a booth like everybody else.
Mr Orr was unavailable for an interview, but Mortimer Oxendine, one his co-workers at the local Cracker Barrel, said, "He'd probably do one for you if you asked nicely. He's a good guy but hot damn, don't get in his way when he's carrying the dish cart through the gangway."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
has ganado un iphone 12 pro max Solo tiene que mandárselo a 20 personas de tus amigos