Children to Report to Work in 2019
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A recent review of industry has resulted in changes in the way Americans will produce goods. Recent studies have shown that American students have become advanced in their knowledge and now will be participating in a work and school initiative to balance the nation with foreign countries. Sociologist, Dr. Menlowe, completed a recent comparative analysis of American students aged 11-18 and discovered that students have become so advanced that modern education is no longer a challenge. His reports detail the data showing that the average student engages in completing homework and classwork less than 10 of the time, using the rest of the time to engage in video games or socializing using social media platforms. This finding also correlates with the finding of EA games recent analysis of video game use increasing during standard school hours.
Using Dr. Menlowe's work and the study completed by EA Games, Senator Robert Kennedy proposed a bill which was overwhelming supported by both houses and fast tracked into law. The new law states that every child aged 11-18 will spend only 3 hours in school per day. They will only focus on the necessary topics (science, history/government, math, and English) before reporting to factories where they will work 9 hours daily. Weekends will require 12 hour shifts on either Saturday or Sunday, but all hours must be worked in one shift. Students will be paid $.50 with no raises to be considered until the child becomes an adult and moves on to university or an adult position.
This is believed to also help reduce costs that have been going up across the nation. Ford has stated that he hopes this program will help the average cost of a vehicle go down from $20,000 to $15,0000. Food production will also see a decrease in cost of foods sold in grocery as well as restaurants as the costs to produce the items will decrease with the lower wages paid to children.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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