GARY DORSEY ANNOUNCES CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT IN 2020, PICKS MISTER SKIP FOR RUNNING MATE
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On Tuesday January 15, 2019 comedian and entrepreneur Gary Dorsey announced he would be running for the office of the U.S. presidency in 2020 as a true independent. In a surprise move, Dorsey immediately announced his running mate. He is going with his fellow stage partner, Mister Skip, who declined to comment about the selection. A spokesperson for Mister Skip said he would not accept the nomination until he had a few glasses of wine, a case of beer, and a night on the town to think about it.
I got the opportunity to sit down with Mr. Dorsey at his ranch inside his mom's house to talk about his huge announcement.
I: Thanks for having me.
GD: Thanks for coming. This is really exciting. Thanks for being here.
I: When did you first realize that running for president was something you seriously wanted to pursue?
GD: Four score and seven years ago.
I: You announced Mister Skip as your running mate. Who exactly "is" Mister Skip?
GD: Well, that depends on what your definition of the word "is" is.
I: Are you not afraid that running as a true independent will hinder your chance of winning the election?
GD: The only thing there is to fear is fear itself.
I: Occasionally talks come up about your home state of Texas possibly succeeding from the Union. What are your thoughts about this?
GD: Read my lips: "NO NEW TEXAS."
I: What is your stance on space exploration and the NASA program?
GD: We're going to have an air force, and we're going to have a space force.
I: You are on record saying you don't think anyone should have to pay for the border wall with Mexico. That they should just use the bricks that used to separate the mens and womens restrooms. Anything else you want to add?
GD: Mr. Trump, tear down this wall!
I: What are your thoughts about potential opponent Elizabeth Warren?
GD: I DID NOT have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Warren.
I: Last question. In the game of Monopoly my playing token is sitting on Water Works. If I roll snake eyes where will I be?
GD: You'd be in jail.
I: Good luck on your campaign.
GD: Thank you.
*If you want to contribute to Mr. Dorsey's campaign he kindly asks instead of you would purchase a ticket to the Gary Dorsey and Mister Skip Show which was held last August 25th, online at www.garydorseyandmisterskip.com.
I, National Reporter.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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