People Are Still Looking For Eric "Captain Baggins" Klebold

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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The air is dry. The environment is swollen. Corner shop traders and hustlers line up to purchase photos of the highly sought after Eric "Captain Baggins" Klebold, seeking what many of them have called quote, "his juiciness."

It was just a few days ago when Mr. Klebold had been seen purchasing a large carton of milk at a Local Mart (a Vietnamese thrift store). He was wearing flip flops with pajama robe and pants. He fled the scene quickly when he noticed people documenting his activity inside the store, along with the various onlookers (street traders and hustlers) taking a lengthy gander at him through the duration of his visit (the juiciness attracts eyes in this part of town). He was visibly afraid and seemed to be walking as fast as his strength allowed him. No answers were extracted from him, but the town's interest in him had left many people intrigued, and a burning obsession with what he had to offer. Hint: For most, it isn't his answers.

Local teams have been trying to track his movement, although it seems likely that he has not left his house since the incident according to our investigators. However, his Internet Service Provider has been able to give us some information on his internet search activity (NSFW).

The Asian parents whose child was killed in a house fire that was likely started by Baggins still stand on the street every day with images of their child, protesting her death and begging the police to bring Baggins to justice.

If Mr. Baggins is afraid, he should come forth to us, especially with his feelings towards his fans. By isolating himself, he only hurts the reputation he has as a humble and timid man, and replaces it with a reputation of a cold and timid man.

Many of his fans wait in the streets on the lookout for him. Their expressions are of a harsh and intense desire, their faces in sweat and their breathing heavy. They wait for their Aphrodite to come outside, and to walk into the light.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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