UDA commander Cole Hodgen found dead
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The notorious Cole Hodgen of the South Belfast UDA has been found dead on the lisburn road at approximately 9:30 this evening. He was just about to enter spoon street as he was shot four hundred and twenty six times by multiple men carrying light machine guns. Doctors say Mr Hodgen would have survived if it wasnt for the last bullet which hit him right in the tip of his wab. The owner of spoon street who witnessed the gruesome attacks said “It was just a normal tuesday night. I seen one of our most loyal customers (Mr Hodgen) about to enter the shop and order his usual which is the “can i have fucking everything” but the men pulled up beside him on magic carpets and began to fire round after round into the mans skull. He fought back by taking his puma suedes off and using them as boxing gloves but when the last bullet hit him in his cack it was over, you could see it in his eyes.” After this emotional statement from Mr Newell we got speaking to police and they have identified a potential suspect her name being Mrs Cochrane of the Ballymena wellington college bate the fuck clean outta ye volunteer force at this moment in time we suggest you should stay inside your homes as Cochranes colleagues are still on the loose.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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