Enraged Bieber Swings Axe onto Head of Mentally Disabled Child; No Charges to be Filed

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Questions are still surfacing after Justin Bieber was released from custody yesterday following the decision of Los Angeles prosecutor Harold Kutchman not to proceed with a criminal case against the child pop star for allegedly swinging an axe into the head of a mentally disabled child. The child, Gaten Matarazzo (5), remains in the Good Samaritan Hospital and is currently in stable condition, though doctors have indicated that his release will be dependent entirely on his recovery, which as of now remains uncertain.

According to the plaintiff's attorney, there were more than twenty eyewitnesses, a closed-circuit security camera recording, as well as a video on Bieber's Instagram showing the teen idol boasting about how he "cracked that brat in the skull". Nevertheless, Kutchman insisted that the case had to be dropped for a lack of evidence. "Eyewitness accounts and confessions are not always reliable and in recent years have been excluded from conclusive evidence in American jurisprudence." He did not comment directly relating the CCTV recording but did indicate that it was not including in the indictment hearings.

Bieber declined to comment as he was escorted from the detention facility by his bodyguards, but as he was entering his Rolls Royce, he suddenly turned around to face reporters, extended both middle fingers at them, cleared his throat, and spat, hitting a nearby woman in the eye, causing her to burst into tears. When it was revealed to Bieber that the woman he spit on was Heather Matarazzo, the child's mother, he sneered loudly and yelled out, "Two for two!"

Though Matarazzo's attorneys have not decided on whether to file a civil suit, they have stated that this is not the end of the legal battle. "This is a clear case of corruption on the part of the Los Angeles County prosecutors. We will not rest until we have justice." Kutchman was seen leaving the courthouse at 3:00 yesterday afternoon in a brand new Maserati sporting a black T-shirt with a sequined dollar sign on the front, accompanied by Floyd Mayweather and the famous hip-hop legend Snoop Dogg.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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