La Ronge Man Arrested For Pumpkinnapping and Inappropriate Smashing of Pumpkins
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In late October 2019 the La Ronge RCMP responded to reports of pumpkins disappearing from the front steps of residents homes. The investigation had absolutely no leads, until early December when the RCMP received an anonymous tip about a resident of La Ronge who had a shed full of frozen pumpkins. Upon further investigation the RCMP requested a search warrant for Lee-Wayne Nippi's shed where they found 37 frozen pumpkins and the remains of what investigators estimate is anywhere from 35-42 pumpkins, all of which had been smashed.
When asked about their neighbour, residents of Nippi's street said he was a sexual deviant, always making out with trees, grinding on random fences, etc. But some of them never suspected him to be stealing and smashing the pumpkins.
"He said he like smashing pumpkins, I just assumed he liked the band. I had no idea what he was capable of." Said Bill Everlastingcumface a neighbour of Nippi's who didn't mind us using his name for this story.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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