DuPont worker amazes all with wit and technical wizardry!

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A DuPont maintenance employee has been dazzling co-workers and management alike by performing above and beyond standards. Drew Samuels, 43 of Schneider, is too modest to take credit for the companies uptick in profits and production. "I'm just a regular guy doing regular things. I'm also regular, due to an influx of fiber in my diet. I attribute that to my good friend Mel Abbott. I couldn't run without him." Others, however, disagree with those accounts. "He really is the rudder of our ship" says co-worker Ed Williams, "and he's devilishly handsome too." As the company prepares for a possible merger, potential buyers have asked to be exposed to Drew's spectacular aura just to get a glimpse of what true greatness is, but plant manager Chris Steinbrenner has kept him under wraps. "You don't play your best card right off the bat. You drop it when you want to annihilate their senses and leave them in awe. We will deploy Drew when the time is right." As for now, he'll continue quietly working in the shadows in hopes of earning some slight praise and a Bob-O-Loin or two. It's people like this that make us all wish we were "regular."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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