Local Man Runs into Wholefoods with Fireworks Inserted in Anus
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Baton Rouge, LA
In a shocking event on Wednesday night, local LSU enthusiast Trenton Bailey was taken into custody by Baton Rouge Metro Police. According to eye witnesses, Bailey entered Whole Foods on Corporate Blvd at 7:45 pm absent of clothing and sparks emitted from his rear.
"The guy was yelling I'm the ASS Bomber. It was crazy man, " exclaimed Rosa Boudeaux who was looking for organic boudin at the time. LSU coach, Ed Orgeron, also was shopping the store at the time. He told our reporters "De mayn neey hep."
Metro Police report that Bailey blamed his work colleague Mike Villermin for the incident claiming Villermin told him it was nude party. Trenton Bailey is being held on $25,000 bond and will make his first court appearance tomorrow. Whole Foods shoppers are lining up for civil suits claiming irreversible trauma caused by the incident.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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